Mayor Mamdani Declares Crisis Of Having Run Out Of Other People's Money

 

NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani declared an official budget crisis in the city after having completely run out of other people's money.

Having already spent $112 billion of other people's money, Mamdani asked for $5 billion more, but was told that the money was, in fact, all gone.

"This is a terrible crisis," cried Mamdani at an emergency press conference. "I have no more of other people's money left to spend. The problem isn't that other people don't still have money. It's that they haven't given it to me. We have to figure out how to get other people's money to me so I have it. I am calling on the governor, the police, and any other person with authority or a gun to help get me more of other people's money."

According to historians, Mamdani ran out of other people's money faster than any other socialist in history. "Usually, it takes a couple of years at least," said history professor Marcus Gunther. "Mamdani has done it in just a few weeks. He has demonstrated remarkable, historic efficiency in burning through other people's money and running completely out. This is peak socialism."

At publishing time, Mamdani had proposed the "Everyone Give Me All Your Money Now Act" to solve the problem.

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